Formation of the Effects Tasking Order

The Roman Army at its height had the most massive logistical support system in the world. The regional governors in modern day Europe, Western Asia, and Northern Africa commanded their respective regions with the might of the legions whilst largely autonomous from Caesar. However, one Emperor by the name of Nero had a bad habit of micromanagement. An untrusting conspiracy theorist, he demanded that all governors provide specific reports for how much gold, grain, and other raw materials they were accumulating in their regions, great details on their expenditures, explanations for the projected second and third order effects of all expenditures, and extremely long reasoning essays for all requests to Rome for support. The scrolls of these reports were sent to Nero's library, where he would read over each in painstaking detail, then store the scrolls for later reference in large warehouses. After two weeks of reading, Nero would write an executive order dictating exactly what the governors were doing wrong, what they needed to fix, and how they were to fix it. These orders were called "Presencia Negotium Ordo" which translates roughly to Effects Tasking Orders. However, due to the frequency of his orders and the delay in travel for information, many of these orders would conflict, overlap, be delivered to the wrong governors, or simply become lost at sea or on the road.
Not wanting any order of the Emporer to be overlooked or confused, Nero directed scribes to write duplicate copies of all orders for the entire Roman world. These would be delivered by multiple routes to each governor, thus ensuring that all governors would receive their orders at least once, along with the orders for all other governors in the empire. In addition, at least two copies of those orders had to be sent back to Nero by different routes with each regional task marked in red ink (to Honor Jupiter) in order to acknowledge that each governor had recieved his orders and complied. Hence, the govenor of Macedon would receive the orders for the govenors of Gaul, Egypt, Germania, Greece, and every other small and large territory the Caesars before Nero conquered in the name of Rome, but would only mark with red ink the orders designated to Macedon, then send two copies back with his aforementioned reports.
The details in the reports and the PNOs consumed all of Rome's paper supply within the first ten months of this system, and soon created such a demand for paper that Nero directed Egypt to change its tribute commodity from grain to papyrus. The warehouses containing the orders, returned orders, reports, and blank paper for new reports were overflowing, thus prompting Nero to rent out dwelling places within the city to provide additional space.
One night, during a particularly long session of nitpicking the reports following the twenty-second order, Nero decided to take a quick nap at his desk. He had a bad dream about the new Christian sect intercepting his PNOs and burning them, waking him with a jolt. That jolt knocked his candlestand onto a stack of returned PNOs and immediately engulfed them in flame. Nero's lyre laid just beyond the stack. Worried that the fire might damage his favorite instrument, he dove for it, scattering the flaming papyrus around the apartment floor, igniting several other stacks. Realizing that there would be no way to single-handedly stop this fire, Nero ran from the dwelling, attempting to find help. However, seeing as he had rented out the entire apartment complex for paper storage, Nero could find no one to help him put it out. He ran to the marble steps of his palace, watching as the flames raged through the complex. Over the next five days, what would become known as the Magnum Incendium Romae, or the Great Fire of Rome destroyed three of the 14 districts of Rome and severely damaged seven others.
This was the first known distaster caused by the Effects Tasking Order, though the causes for other similar catastophes are closely linked to confusing and complex order systems. Xerxes' million man army of Persia was delayed for three days in Thermopylae by a paultry force of 300 Spartans and a few thousand other Greek farmers. Though conventional wisdom stated that this was due to the terrain coupled with the might of the Spartan phalanx, the actual problem was that the additional duty of all archers in the Persian army was to carry bundles of parchment containing orders and logistical records. It took three days to categorize and sort those orders, while the Spartans, a completely illiterate bunch who relied on simple spoken orders and decentralized leadership, butchered 20,000 Persian soldiers. When the archers were finally allowed to rain down barrages of arrows on the Greeks, the Spartans were weakened to a point that allowed a standard sized group of Immortals to easily finish off King Leonidas and his men.
The redundant and confusing report and order system that is the ETO reoccured in many forms throughout history. Grouchy was busy writing his consumption reports and checking off items from the lists of his tasks while Napoleon waited for him to reinforce the French at Waterloo. Charles of France received a directive sent two months before the battle of Agincourt stating "The dry climate you reported in August should result in firm ground on which to base a solid cavalry charge. Go forth, and wipe that Bastard Henry from the face of the Earth." Unfortunately for the French, the battle took place in October, when the freshly plowed and rained on battlefield was a mudpit. King Phillip II of Spain controlled his Armada via boat messenger from his palace, having never actually seen any of his ships. Thus, he did not realize that a galleon was not really a warship, but a Portugeuse merchant vessel poorly matched against British warships. Finally, the most complex form of the Effects Tasking Order was implimented by Field Marshall Montgomery to organize the largest airborne offensive in history.
Most historians agree that Operation Market Garden went smashingly well.